We all have moments in our lives when we feel frustrated, disappointed and discouraged. The choices during these moments can either set us up for a great day or take us down the wrong track. The problem that people can encounter is when they let these frustrating or discouraging moments grow and escalate. They can move from single moments to taking up a whole morning and turn into a whole month if left unchecked.

For this reason, in this article, I want to provide some insights and practical tools that will help you win the moment and so you can win the day.

In this post, we will explore:

• The power of habits

• Habit Stacking

• Trigger points

The Power of Habits

It could be argued that we are the sum of our daily habits and routines that lead to our life behaviours.  This is why we should not underestimate the power of healthy habits and practices, that allows us to live life to the full. Most of the conversations and writings around habits have come in recent years from three books, The Power of Habit by Charles Duhig, Tiny Habits by B J Fogg,  and Atomic Habits by James Clear (see my recommended reading list). In his excellently researched and crafted book, Duhigg lays out in great detail how habits work in principle and how we can work habits. 

In summary, he explains that habits have three main components:

• Cue 

• Routine 

• Reward 

He explains that the golden rule of habit change and formation is to change your routine, leading to developing the healthy habits you desire. When seeking to change a habit, he suggests that we ask the following four questions to alter the routine.

1. Where am I when I have the craving?

2. What time is it?

3. What is my emotional state?

4. What am I doing? 

By changing the routine, we will rewire our brain to dissociate that craving with the current reward and develop our new habit. To grasp the fundamentals of habit formation allows us to build even better habits.

Habit Stacking

James Clear builds on the book’s concepts and Tiny Habits by J B Fogg and takes the power of habits one step further. He coins the phrase ‘habit stacking’. So what is habit stacking, and how can we use it?

Habit stacking is building any new habit on an existing healthy habit you already have. It helps if the frequency of the old and new habit you wish to implement are the same. James Clear gives the following examples:

After/Before [CURRENT HABIT], I will [NEW HABIT].

• After I pour my cup of coffee each morning, I will meditate for one minute.

• After I take off my work shoes, I will immediately change into my workout clothes.

• After I sit down to dinner, I will say one thing I’m grateful for that happened today.

• After I get into bed at night, I will give my partner a kiss.

• After I put on my running shoes, I will text a friend or family member where I am running and how long it will take.

This is a great way to introduce new baits to your morning routine or your daily schedule. One I have used for the last few months is when the coffee is brewing I will stretch. I did not think this was a big deal. However, after a week, I began to notice the difference as I felt much more flexible. Once I hear the coffee machine kicking in, I would quickly leave the kitchen and find a place to stretch; this included hanging from our spiral staircase to stretch out my spine. 

I will cover the importance of flexibility in a future post. I had already been using the practice of habit stacking in my morning routine, but this allowed me to take some moments and create them into new habits. 

Trigger Points

The trigger point is what Duhigg calls the cue, the starting point of the habit. It might seem a little odd to write about this last; however, when we know the fundamentals of how habits work, this makes much more sense to be last even though it is first. 

Trigger points are what I like to call “When - Then” behaviours. The aforementioned is not a new idea, but it is a powerful one to use. When it comes to creating new habits and habit stacking, we can go one step further and consider the trigger points. We can set up these trigger points in advance to create powerful habits. I discovered this idea a few years ago, and it immediately brought my attention to the ancient text and writings of the Bible. This, ‘when - then’ the idea is seen repeatedly.

To remember what God has said to them, they would write them on their homes’ doorframes. This meant that as they would enter and leave these words and symbols would act as trigger points to produce the right behaviour. 

Deuteronomy 6:9 (NIV) These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. 

A trigger point can be visual, audible, mental or physical. These trigger points are simple reminders of the habits and behaviours that we wish to create. Jordan Harbinger, podcaster uses the doorway drill (DWD) as a trigger point in the following way. Each time he walks through a doorway, he changes his posture to make sure he is standing up tall. The DWD is very helpful if you are about to enter a room for an important meeting as it allows you to feel in control.

In his blog, Tim Ferris shares how he has a sword above his doorway, and this is a reminder for him to cut off everything that would not help in life. (If you chose to do this, please make sure it is attached to the wall correctly:-)

I use the ideas of trigger points in the following ways:

When I feel_________ then I will do_____________. 

When I see ________ then I will do _____________

For example, if when I wake up, I feel discouraged, then I will give thanks once my foot hits the floor. This trigger works well and changes the possible negative moment into a positive response for the day ahead. The ‘when-then’ trigger point can work in all sorts of life situations to give you control over your life and build powerful habits and behaviours.

Companies such as Starbucks use this idea with their staff. They encourage them to write down in their notebook something similar to the following.

“When my customer is unhappy then I will do the following...” 

You too can also write down your desired change that you wish to make in your life. There is power in both writing and speaking out your intention and desired outcome. 

Wrapping Up

In this post, we have explored:

• The formation of habits (good and bad)

• Habit stacking for top results

• Trigger points to help you turn every moment into a positive outcome

Thanks once again for reading.

Recommended reading for further insights*

Question

Do You Want To Pick My Brains?

I have been developing and tweaking my habits for many years. Let me know in the comments if I can help you or drop me an email here.